This was the last Will & Testimonate I put on the internet on the 21/7/1999. Things have changed a lot in 9 and a half years so I guess its out of date, but for the sake of history, here is the untouched version of what I put.

My Last Will and Testimonate

DATE 21/7/99

I am currently in sound mind and body and these are my last wishes to the world in case of a sudden death. Everything I own in the world is to be given to my mother, who must give out the items as she feels fit except the below. The last "babe" to have slept with me, as long as she satisfied me (and swallowed when giving me a blow job) is entitled to half of what is in my "Savings Account" *, the other half must be given to a childrens charity. If the girl in question didn't satisfy me, I would like the money to be given to a Animal Charity to aid her future development! Proceeds from my internet sites are to pay for the unkeep of my parents, so they can live a happy life without there son. I would like my organs donated, and which ever lucky bloke gets my penis he will be the luckyest man alive (its big).

The bits what are left after the scavengers have taken what they can is to be buired or cremated, depending on which is cheaper! I want Tina Turners Simply the best played at my funeral. Most important, I don't want anyone to come to my funeral who isn't "Up for" a party, I don't you to cry about my death, but party and celebreate my life!

* My savings account could be a good amount of money, so it may be worth emailing me and chatting me up just to sleep with me...... If I am Murdered, or Missing, all proceeds must go to family and not the person I last slept with. - This is to stop mad psycho women :-)